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2004-08-03 - 8:36 a.m. An emotional, yet also silly, goodbye with the occupants of my heart: Boutras, Ella, Job, Foxie, Trixi, Berry, Nini, and many others. A wonderful time visiting the folks and friends in Seattle; the one drag being there was no non-stop flight to Paris on my preferred carrier of Air France or its Skyteam Partner Delta. This minor annoyance was overlooked since long-time best buddy and partner in wild days of youth (ok, 20�s) Grady was coming along for the ride to make sure I arrived, settled, and enjoyed the first week of living in my new town. All was quite well as we plunked down in Row 2 Seats A & B of our first of 2 flights--Seattle to Cincinnati. Junior (my dog) was herself quite comfortable in her travel bag lying at my feet. As soon as the seatbelt sign was off I unzipped her bag so she could pop her head out if she wanted, but true to her (and other dogs nature) when she realized I didn�t have a treat for her every 2 seconds she then decided to lie down and sleep for the rest of the flight. Since this was a bon voyage flight, and we are best friends, and I am moving to France, Grady and I decided to toast each other; the dog; our fellow first class passengers (though they didn�t know it); all our flight attendants; with champagne. Then we broke out the cards and starting playing a bizarre game I think we made up; it was a cross between go fish and war. But the loser had to drink more champagne. After losing 4 straight hands I declared a new rule that the loser can pick his drink of punishment and that may include water if he loses 3 times in a row. We played the entire 4-hour flight prompting the flight attendant to remark; if you two weren�t on this flight I would have nothing to do. Grady filled out a Delta comment card recommending her for flight attendant of the month (I thought he was being stingy and should have recommended her for top FA of the year, but I was too lazy to fill out my own card) Cincinnati International is actually in Kentucky (an important note for later). Landing with just a slight bump, bump, bump on the runway we exit the plane and head to the Delta lounge to wait for flight 2. Dumping off carry-on bags, I head outside with Junior so she may relieve herself on Kentucky soil. Back in the lounge she is a hit with the Delta workers as she sits at my feet and watches all the businessmen trying to ignore the fact that there is a dog in the private lounge. The bartender brings her a bowl of water and Grady and I each a glass of wine (which we really don�t need, but it�s Paris!) Finally after an hour of laughing at these poor traveling salesman, Euro trash business class passengers, and each other, we decide to head for the gate and get over the pond. A neatly folded boarding pass is retrieved from my back pocket and presented to the gate agent along with my passport like a Wonka Golden Ticket �I can�t believe I am moving to Paris� is running through my head. But �Sir, could you please step over to the counter� is actually being said to me. A bit surprised, a bit tipsy, and a bit�ok, just two bits, I step over to the counter. Over my shoulder I say to Grady; �Just get on, I�ll only be a second� and approach the check-in desk. The smiling Delta agent says to me �You are traveling with a dog, correct?� �Yes� I reply and start unzipping the side pocket of her carrier bag so I can produce the health certificate that I almost never get anymore because no one ever asks to see it. �You have the papers for entry in to France and the dog is micro chipped or tattooed, correct?� smiling agent asks. �I am going to France, not England� I say, �she doesn�t have to be micro chipped or tattooed, it�s the continent.� A no longer smiling agent says, �Well sir, actually the dog does need to be micro chipped or tattooed for entry in to France.� I look around for the cameras; surely I am on some new reality show (most likely on Fox). �I am not trying to act like a bad episode of Airline, but you are wrong on this one� I say. �I travel with her all the time and have taken her to France quite often and unless it changed since I bought the ticket you are mistaken and I am going to now board the plane� I deliver with a smile, although tense, it is still a smile. And then Delta Airlines very own Eva Braun with a mullet says to me: �Actually Sir, you are not getting on this or any other plane heading to France if the dog isn�t allowed to fly, and since the pet is not micro chipped or tattooed the dog isn�t allowed to fly� Enraged, but due to the champagne and wine I am still a bit fuzzy that this is actually happening I turn around and am thankful to see that Grady is right behind me. �Ok� I say and glance at her nametag �Judith, is it?� �No need for us to argue, how about I talk with your supervisor or better yet, bring down someone with some authority� �I�ll call the floor chief� Eva/Judy replies. Moments later, with a swing in his step, Tom arrives. Tom explains the policy to Bean. Bean points out that perhaps the sweet underpaid reservation agent that booked the flight and took Bean�s American Express number to pay for the flight should have mentioned this juicy bit of information. Tom apologizes for the inept (and Bean is sure -under educated, poor hygiene and bad wig wearing) reservation agent. And Tom also apologizes for the inconvenience. Bean suggests that maybe a mention of this could have been made PRIOR TO LEAVING THE ORIGIN CITY OF SEATTLE! Tom apologizes for the clueless staff in Seattle. Bean is a Virgo, with a Virgo rising, pretty much he is about a hairs width away from being Autistic. He opens his carry-on bag and removes from a zippered compartment a rubber-banded stack of what look to be cards. They are, in fact, boarding card stubs in chronological order from the last 5 or 6 years. Even he doesn�t know why he keeps them, because he hates clutter, but he does and there are at least 100. One year traveling internationally for the largest Software Company in the world provides one with an incredible amount of these little stubs. And with the exception of 10-15 flights on American (Boutras�s preferred carrier) they are all on a Skyteam Partner Carrier (Air France, AlItalia, Korean Air, Delta, Czech Airlines). Through clenched teeth Bean presents the card in a David Lynchesque way, slowly fanning them under the nose of Tom. Tom turns white and realizes he is dealing with a Skyteam Elite Plus Passenger and that passenger is about one second away from FREAKING OUT! Grady looks at Bean, then at Tom, shrugs and says �I don�t know why he has those either, but he�s my best friend and damn he flies a lot.� Tom offers to call his own Vet and arrange an emergency micro chipping for Junior compliments of Delta Airlines. Bean asks how all this will be accomplished in the next 17 minutes before the plane is to leave, or will they have to be re-booked on the next flight. Tom clears his throat and says trepaditiously �Uh, well, actually, we will have to put you on the first flight tomorrow after you can visit the Vet, since they are closed now.� Bean blinks; twice. Tom continues, Delta is happy to provide accommodation for you and your friend for the night, as well as meals. Grady says �Ok, hey, a night in Kentucky, not so bad, right, Bean?� Bean smiles at Grady and then turns to Tom and says, � Him and his bright side will need their own room.� "Absolutely!" says Tom. � � 
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