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2004-08-14 - 9:03 a.m. He screams. He screams in the middle of the night, and again towards dawn. I awake each time. When he screams in the middle of the night I don�t give him much thought, other than �Fuck you�. But when he screams in the early light, in the pre-dawn hours I feel a bit for him. Is he greeting the day? And if so, what kind of hell must he face each day? I want so much to pound, to bang with closed fists on the wall �STOP! YOU ARE WAKING ME!� and I am not ready to be awake. But since I am new to this building, albeit this city, instead I pull my dog Junior closer to me (thus waking her) and try to cuddle, try to shut out his nightmares lest they become mine, Today I saw him in the courtyard. A young, 20ish Chinese man. I know his secret. I felt at once sorry and powerful. My thoughts were �I need to sleep� My words were �Bonjour�. Could it be he dreams of something tortuous? I never gave much thought to what it is he actually dreams, I only thought of his nightmares as they affected ME. Wow, you can take the American out of America but you can�t� Something grander, something bolder, something unexplainable is working here. His nightmares are making me aware of something. Not his suffering, for I can�t relate to that which is so personal and yet so impersonal. No, I am beginning to be aware of a spirit that is spreading across our earth, across our earth at a speed that we have yet to register. I realize, with sadness and surprise, I am indifferent. I am indifferent to this man who lives next to me. Only a thin wall separates us, yet I know nothing of him other than his ethnic origin, and that he is haunted, perused, hunted by a force that wakens him screaming each night, regularly. His nightmares have become my radical alarm clock. And I can do nothing. I just listen, and try to fall back asleep. Is this a calling? Do I wish to do anything? When duty whispers �Thou Must� The youth replies �I can� As someone who can no longer call themselves �The Youth� Am I released of any responsibility? Am I just very tired of 3 continuous nights of this? Yes, that�s it. Note to waking self: earplugs. � � 
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