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2004-08-29 - 9:22 a.m.

This morning I hopped out of bed with more than my usual amount of pep and vigor, why? Because my first official visitor from America comes tomorrow and I have many things to do today to prepare. Scooter and I haven�t seen each other for over four years since he moved away. On a whim I called him the other night and he said he was heading to Belgium to see the Formula One Grand Prix (he lives in Seattle). I told him I had moved to Paris and he excitedly said that he was flying in to Pairs and taking the train to Belgium. So, lucky us, we would have at least one full day to catch up and goof around.

So this morning I did my usual routine of opening the windows in the Bedroom to let the morning air inside, then headed to the living room opened the kitchen folding doors and put water on for coffee, grab Juniors bowl and filled it with fresh water and then opened the living room windows to freshen that room. The living room windows are the windows I choose to lean out every morning and �Greet the Day�. Hello Paris, hello la Tour Eiffel, hello Eglise whose dome is so large, but whose name I can never remember, hello la Tour Montparnasse, hello world. Good morning new day, may we each respect each other.

Scanning the skyline it looks like a nice day awaits us, which is great because after a few pages of work I am going to head out and get my head shaved, buy some groceries, buy some bread, but some wine, buy some flowers, do a load of laundry and then head back to clean the apartment for my visitor (although it is pretty much clean, just need to fine tune).

Setback number 1: The barber I like isn�t working today. Ok, let it go, ask the one working if I may have a rendezvous for today. Yes, he says, come back at 14:00. 14:00? Well, that�s in the middle of my carefully planned day. Hmm, ok, you don�t want to look shaggy for your friend, accept what is available. Merci, oui rendezvous 14:00, au revoir.

Setback number 2: Regular boulanger that I go to is closed on Wednesday, which means I have to go to the one on the corner of Rue Monge, the one that always has a line, the one that has all those people carrying on in French, loudly. The one that I am just a little bit afraid to go to and only go on Wednesday and only if I really want bread that day (and, oddly, I rarely crave bread on Wednedays). Ok, well, you will just have to buck up. But, I think I�ll go later on, maybe after my barber appt.

Setback number 3: I am out of bleach and I need it for the pure white bathroom rug I have (the most ridiculous purchase ever, I have to wash it twice a week). But that means I have to walk up to Franprix and buy bleach while carrying my bag of dirty clothes, towels and rug with me. And if I am going to go to Franprix than I might as well get my daily shopping done, soymilk, water, crisps, etc. But I can�t shop hauling a bag of dirty clothes what if they accidentally touch my groceries? What if I slip and the bag of clothes empties on to the floor of the Franpix? What would be worse; my fellow shoppers seeing my Benetton underwear or my Benetton underwear hitting the floor of the Franprix where God knows how many people have trudged God knows what on the bottom of their shoes on these floors�ok, stop I can�t think about this. Both would be disastrous, but I think I�d rather my fellow shoppers see me IN my underwear than my underwear hit that nasty floor. Ok, leave the dirty clothes here. Go buy bleach, come back and get the clothes, go to the Laverie, then walk to the Franprix in the 13th so the shop workers at your regular Franprix don�t think you are obsessed with that Franprix and stalking them.

Step forward number1: Since it is sunny out I can wear my new, bought the day before I left, only worn once, Prada Sandals with the Velcro back closure. Yeah. New day, new shoes. A bright spot. Yoga breath, you can overcome any setback. Yoga breath.

Setback number 4: No Ariel left in the apartment.

Step forward number 2: There is a machine in the Laverie and it sells Ariel in tiny boxes.

Setback number 5: Pay 1 euro for Ariel, machine out, eats euro.

Setback number 6: Maybe it was a glitch; maybe it�s not out. Machine eats second euro.

Setback number 7: Corner tiny market carries every brand of clothes washing powder except Ariel.

Setback number 8: Neurotic Bean cannot switch washing powders under pressure, without sampling, testing skin reactions, measuring longevity of fresh scents once clothes are stores in dresser, with Algerian shop owner staring at him while he starts to sweat profusely, with Algerian shop owner saying �Is good this, is good this� holding a box of some unknown-to-Bean brand of washing powder. The stress starts to get to me and I wonder if I let a few tears escape is this maniac will just let me out to the shop or if I am going to have to buy this box he is holding, only to throw it away around the corner. Yoga breath, you are 36; you owe this Algerian shop worker nothing. Non, monsieur, je chercher por Ariel. Au revoir.

Step forward number 3: Discover another Franprix across Rue Pascal. Purchase largest box of Ariel available. Back to Laverie and things are moving along.

Step forward number 4: Wrote 4 pages of book in time it took for laundry to finish. Have just enough time to fold, arrange solid color T-shirts by hue (darkest on bottom), hang ironed shirts, and wash bathroom floor before placing freshly washed and bleached rug down before leaving to make rendezvous with new barber.

Setback number 9: Parlez vous anglais? Bean asks new barber. Non. Is somewhat gruff answer. Ok, Sil vous plait, un centimeter and then I wave my hand all around my head and then shake my head. A vision of Rula Lenska comes to mind when I do the head shake. I fully understand how amputees have pains and itches from their removed limbs. I look at the mirror to remind myself he is shaving just a few inches squared of existing hair, not sheering a sheep.

Setback number 10: Barber starts and is using scissors. This is gonna be a long session.

Step forward number 5: Bean: Monsieur, excus em moi un rasoir? Barber: Un centimeter? Non rasoir. Realizing I haven�t shaved I rub my face and then point to my cheek and say Monsieur, oui! Barber: Ahh, un millimeter! Daccord. Bean (silently, ok, crisis averted)

Step forward number 6: A perfect haircut/head shave. Happy, happy, happy. New sandals! Happy, happy, happy. Off to the Franprix in the 13th to buy groceries then to Monceau for fleurs. Perfect, just in time too, since the clouds look like they are moving in.

Step forward number 7: Almost no one in Franprix, gather needed items and even remember to buy tape which I have forgotten the last few trips.

Setback number 11: Little tiny drizzle turns to major downpour on the 12-block walk home. Have to slightly jog to make better time.

Setback number 12: Gale force winds begin to aid the torrential rains in their desire to pelt you like tiny rocks. Gutters are instantly flooded to prevent you from crossing street, must make heroic jump in order to not land in huge pools thus baptizing new sandals in dirty water.

Setback number 13: The storm of the century is now on me and I must, like all other intelligent folks seek dry land under the closest caf�s awning. It was like being in Jurassic Bloody Park; seriously, had Jeff Goldblum and Laura Dern run past me I don�t think I would have blinked. Sadly, as I looked down and saw how my feet were making wet imprints in the bottom of my sandals I silently wished to be eaten by a T-Rex rather than watch the destruction of a $375 pair of shoes worn only twice.

Setback number 14: Expecting Noah to cruise by, I sat down on a caf� chair and ordered a coffee to pass the time.

Step forward number 8: There was a copy of the International Harold on the unoccupied table next to me and I could read a bit about the Olympics.

Step forward number 9: Rain came to a stop as abruptly as a hookers moan when the hour is up.

Step forward number 10: Grabbed bags and headed home.

Setback number 15: Heard the squish, squish, squish of water being squeezed out of sandals.

Step forward number 11: Made it home, put groceries away, played with best dog in the world.

Step forward number 12: Have today�s blog article!

Setback number 16: Forgot the fleurs.

Step forward number 13: Couldn�t care less.

Step forward number 14: All this happened in Paris!

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