2004-10-06 - 1:18 a.m.

Frederic just left. I am supposed to feel something, I think I am supposed to feel some sort of loss or longing. I think I am supposed to miss him.

I don't.

I phoned Piglet to see how she and her newborn were doing. She picked up on the second ring. "Hallo" "Hi" I gushed. "Hi" she said "I am at the doctors with the baby" she continued. "Is everything ok?" I asked "Oh yes, just a , hold on, I think I hear him crying" she answered. "Oh" I respond. "Nope, not him" she says "How are you?" she asks "I have been thinking of you!" she says. "How are you?" she continues. "I am good, I.."
"Oh, wait, that is him, hold on" she says. "Baby, I have to pick him up, are you ok? Can we talk later?" she asks.

What am I supposed to say to this?

"I'm fine, let's talk soon, I miss you" I answer

"I miss you too, come visit!" she says

"Of course" I answer

"Bye! Love you!" I say

"Oh, I love you too!" she says

I hang up the phone and look around at my nothingness.

What is the point?

Frederic just left and I feel alone, but not because he left, I felt alone while he was here.

This blows. Nobody gets me here.

What to do??

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