back on the couch

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2005-01-16 - 11:58 a.m.

My plane ticket is sitting on the floor, staring at me. I suppose I should look at it and see what time I am supposed to leave Paris. Eek, my flight is at 7:15 a.m., I guess I am going to have to take a taxi to aeroport CDG, I am not sure if I can get there in time if I take the RER, I�ll have to look it up and see what time the first trains leave. What was I thinking when I booked a 7:15 flight? Air France is running another special wherein if you fly so many miles before 31 March then you receive bonus miles. They always know how to lure me in. I should go to the west coast to see Piglet and her new baby, I would love to. But I also want to see The Gates in NYC so bad, maybe do one week with 2 days in NYC and the rest in California, I feel guilty though, if I go to Cali and not Seattle. Oh well, if Piglet, Champ and baby move to Spain in Feb like they are supposed to I can go visit them there. I am so hoping they do, it will be nice just to be on the same time zone.

I had another strange dream about being in the theatre in NYC. The first half of the play was a little stiff but I was fascinated. Except in the dream I have taken a sleeping pill and it is getting harder and harder to stay awake, this makes me more and more upset, because I want to see this play, but the effects of the pill are making it so hard. I change seats hoping this will give me a little push, but in the end I am snoring and I keep waking up only to find angry theatergoers giving me very dirty looks. There are little dogs pulling a giant Louis Vuitton sled on stage, and I worry that this will make Junior bark (since I have brought her to the theatre with me, and she is sitting on my lap), but before that can happen a woman with a very short haircut comes up and tells me my friends behavior is inexcusable and we should all leave. I turn to the row behind me and Job and Skater are sitting up on the tops of their seats and they aren�t wearing any clothes. I want to laugh, but I hold it in and instead steal the fur coat of the woman in front of me and leave the theatre with Junior in my arms. Then the dream morphs in to my standard, I can�t walk dream. What is that?? My legs are useless and heavy, I have to try so hard to put each one in front of the other, I don�t break a sweat, but I have no grace and walking is just too difficult. Scares me every time.

7:15, what was I thinking. Who fly�s at 7:15? Oy, and on a Monday, it�s going to be packed with business folks, all looking very determined and focused. All very busy in their business, in their quest for validation dressed up like Zegna ads for GQ. I will wear 501 jeans ripped at the knee, a black long sleeved sweater from Le Gap, a baseball hat, suede Prada loafers and sunglasses. And then count the sighs of relief as each business passenger relaxes when I don�t sit next to him or her. I wish I could wear that fur coat I stole.

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