back on the couch

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2005-01-29 - 8:45 p.m.

I am dipping a little bit. Just a bit. I am trying to figure out my role. And I worry that it isn�t going to be very easy. It�s funny (as the French would say) how easy my resentment rears it head. It�s right there beneath the surface, waiting, like a lion waiting for its prey to walk unafraid on the small patch of open grass. I try to restrain myself, to absolutely no avail. Why?? Is it him? I have no desires to play his role, to emulate him, to be him. And yet, I feel his weighty presence, and it angers me.

Queen.

Throughout time they have held the position of two.

Even when, rightfully, they are one.

Aaargh; so frustrating.

I forget my role.

That; of mere Jester.

But, it�s not so.

My role now, is of equal.

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