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26.03.05 - 10:18

In my inbox this morning there was the email from the psychic in Oklahoma, after reading the LA Times and the NY times online, I made a second cup of coffee (that�s strange, Bean never has a second cup of coffee in America) and settled in to read about my future. Being the generous soul that I am, I will share it with you.

Dear Bean,
I have begun work on your full chart, along with tips for mapping decisions, and should have it to you within the week. For now, here is a profile breakdown based on your birth day and time.

(bean: Oh, I am so excited!)

Sun is in 11 Degrees Virgo.
Extremely careful and cautious by nature, you value neatness and order above all else. You rigorously practice very high standards of living and conduct and you demand the same of everyone with whom you come into contact. At times, you are so supercritical that you are merely nit-picky. You are very good at practical skills and quite handy with tools of all kinds. You are also greatly concerned with hygiene, cleanliness and personal health problems. Very likely your health is much better than you think it is -- don't worry so much! Extremely methodical and analytical, you are a perfectionist -- this makes you the perfect person to carry out highly detailed, precise operations. But, at times, you pay so much attention to details that you lose sight of the larger issues.

(bean: Hmm, well, ok, most of that is me, except for the tools part, I only have an electric drill and a sander, and I never use them. The cleanliness thing, yes, that�s me, I can be a bit of a neat-freak, but sometimes I do leave a pair of shorts on the floor of my bedroom for almost a full day)

Moon is in 13 Degrees Virgo.
You tend to be serious-minded but cheerful for the most part. You need tasks that engage both your mind and your hands. A careful worker, you enjoy making things. You are neat and orderly, and are very concerned with good health habits. Fastidious to the extreme, you cannot tolerate messes and will immediately clean them up. Reserved, shy, and very self-critical, you tend to be very hard on yourself. You usually will go out of your way to be helpful and useful to others. Practical, reliable, efficient and conservative, at times you are a bit of a prude. You are known to lead a simple, uncomplicated, frugal, methodical and unemotional lifestyle. You are devoted and caring to those you love.

(bean: Ok, I already knew I was a double Virgo, this isn�t news. Serious-minded but cheerful, yes, I agree with that. Unemotional? No, I disagree, I find my self to be too emotional, or am I confusing that with too sensitive? Reserved, shy, and very self-critical. Check, check, and check. Frugal? Uh, no, not me. Methodical lifestyle? Yes, to the point of Autistic, I once ate the same salad, from the same restaurant, at nearly the same time, for over a month (except on Sundays when they were closed) for dinner. I like routine, so sue me, but that doesn�t mean I can�t be spontaneous.)

Rising Sign is in 29 Degrees Virgo
You tend to be very shy and not very self-assertive. You are supercritical about how you appear to others. Even though you may think you are uninteresting and dull, you are actually quite soft- spoken, orderly, neat and very likable. You are a perfectionist with high standards, and at times you can be quite tactless in pointing out the faults of others. Very practical, efficient and purposeful, your appearance and bearing reflect your need to appear graceful, sensible and reserved. You have a crisp, no-nonsense approach to dealing with others. Never lazy or self-indulgent, you tend to be dedicated to the work ethic.

(bean: Oh, I didn�t know I was a triple Virgo. Ok, so, I guess that�s why I can be a bit intense. Shy? Again? Ok, yes, I am shy, I admit it. The appearance thing. Yes, I get that. I have always wanted to create a uniform for myself and just wear it every single day. Not like a mechanics jumper, but more like a black Christian Dior suit, with a (white in summer, deep blue in fall, gray in winter, pale blue in spring) dress shirt and matching hue tie. Although I would be allowed to mix it up with various pairs of shoes.)

Mercury is in 21 Degrees Virgo.
Very thorough and efficient, you pay attention to the minor but important details of any project. You are a careful thinker who can learn complicated, intricate techniques. You are attracted to practical, useful skills and are probably good at working with your hands. You are very critical of yourself and others, sometimes too much so, and you get the reputation of being a nag or of being nit-picky. Your first reaction to any situation is to try to organize, classify and analyze everything!

(bean: Great, more Virgo. Yes, I can be critical of others and myself. I sometimes say things that I probably shouldn�t. I once told Piglet that she had large hands for a woman and she is still self-conscious about it, if she catches me even glancing anywhere near her hands she freaks out. I didn�t mean anything by it, but she�s such a tiny, thin person, I just thought the hands looked out of proportion. Is that bad? She�s going to kill me when she reads this. Sorry Piglet, I didn�t mean it in a bad way!!)

Venus is in 02 Degrees Virgo.
You express your love and affection through selfless service to people or causes. You have a tendency to underestimate yourself and doubt your self-worth. This is very demeaning and should be avoided -- learn to love yourself as well as you do others. Your standards of perfection are very high -- you are attracted to relationships based on duty and responsibility. You are supercritical of yourself and others and, at times, prefer to be alone rather than deal with any imperfections in yourself or in those with whom you might relate.

(bean: Fuck, more Virgo? What am I, some sort of Alien? Some escaped creature from the Virgo section of Area 51? Yes, ok, I get it, I am critical of myself and others, I am picky, I am uptight, I am demanding, I am shy, I lack confidence�ok, ok, ok.)

Uranus is in 23 Degrees Virgo.
You, and all your peers, will be known for the degree of intensity with which you dislike normal everyday routines and chores. You will go out of your way to invent innovative, unique and timesaving ways to perform the various mundane routines and duties of living. You will be attracted to all manner of practical and useful gadgets -- anything that will make your daily life more exciting.

(bean: This isn�t fun anymore.)

Mars is in 26 Degrees Scorpio.
Your likes and dislikes are strong and intense, never casual or superficial. You are known for your persistence and willful obsession. Once you have decided on a course of action, you are unstoppable. Your emotional actions tend to be extreme, although you try to keep them muted. You are not quick to anger, you do slow burns. And you tend to release your anger as sarcasm or irony. Beware of your tendency to hold grudges and to be vengeful. When you do fight, or release your internal tensions, you do so body and soul -- you become totally passionate and your outbursts are awesome to behold.

(bean: Finally, another sign in my life. Although, it�s just telling me again that I am intense, and obsessed. You�d think an enemy of mine was writing this.)

Jupiter is in 21 Degrees Leo.
You must be proud of all that you do in order to grow and develop. You enjoy being totally honest and aboveboard and you revel in the admiration and respect you receive from others due to your high- minded, upright way of life. Make sure, though, that your natural tendency to boast and show off is based on your actual accomplishments. Don't fall prey to self-exaggeration or arrogance. You truly do like outrageous spectacles and grand jolly times and will go out of your way to make them a reality.

(bean: Leo! Yeah, Piglet is a Leo, so I have some of her good qualities. But wait, this is saying I boast and may be arrogant, I don�t want those Leo qualities)

Saturn is in 11 Degrees Aries.
You are aloof, independent and standoffish. This is mainly due to your fear that others might inhibit or restrict you and, quite frankly, you feel that you can govern your life by your own standards. Be careful not to associate with those who are overly critical of you or you will withdraw so deeply into your shell that you will become very lonely. You have the ability to stand on your own two feet and to make up your own mind -- albeit very carefully and cautiously. But you are known for your circumspection and therefore are respected and admired.

(bean: Ok, this one isn�t bad. And yes, I can be aloof and standoffish, but it is usually driven by shyness. People always tell me that they thought I was unfriendly when they first met me. I can live with that.)

Neptune is in 21 Degrees Scorpio.
You, and your entire generation, are extremely interested in anything deep and mysterious. You will explore and idealize the benefits that can accrue from the study of the occult, healing and psychology. You are willing to experiment with substances like drugs in order to push your understanding of your inner being to the extreme.

(bean: Well, this is true, I am reading a psychics report.)

Pluto is in 20 Degrees Virgo.
For your entire generation, this will be a time when profound changes in society's attitude toward work, duty and responsibility will be initiated. Radical changes in attitudes toward personal health and general nutrition will be promulgated and gain wide acceptance and practice.

(bean: More Virgo. Although this is directed towards my generation, we did, after all, bring Soy Milk to the masses.)

Ok, so there is a lot of Virgo in me, I was wondering what Winfred was thinking about when she first did this, and what more she was going to find when she did my chart. As I scrolled down towards the bottom of the email I saw this:

Bean,
This is a very interesting first read. I must say if you haven�t already been, or are not currently under, psychiatric care, I would highly recommend it in the future.
Winifred

WOW!! Now what do I do with that??

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