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10.03.05 - 19:23 Today is my friend Dani�s birthday. I called her as soon as I could when it wouldn�t be too early in America. She sounded a little down. We chatted for a while and talked more about Berlin and the cold, about what was going on in Cali and what was up with our mutual friends. By the end of the hour-long conversation we were both laughing and wanting to move to Italy, she to Positano and me to Venice. �Berlin is like ice,� I said �Honey, when you said you were leaving Paris for Berlin I was like �uh, what?� but I wasn�t going to butt in, you always make your decisions and stick to them� she said �I know, but fuck I am so cold, my cheeks are red every time I come in from outside. I look like a Hummel figurine,� I said I spent most of the day today walking around the city, around noon I decided to walk all the way across town to Potsdamer Platz and see a movie, there is a great theatre there that plays all movies in their original language and I didn�t feel like watching a flick in German. By the time I got to the theatre I found that they were setting up to premiere the new Sandra Bullock movie, so there were no shows today, nothing until tonight and then it is all Miss Undercover 2. Damn. There were lots of people waiting in line to stand along the red carpet, it reminded me of home, and I left rather quickly. I only liked premiers for the free food and the free film; I never bothered with all the star fucking and picture taking. Most of the time anyway my ticket would be good for the �overflow screening� not the theatre where the stars hung out. Never bothered me, this way you could actually concentrate on the flick and not worry about what has-been or hanger-on was seated next to you. The long walk did me good, I felt in much better sprits than I have in a long while. I wrote a very assertive and strongly worded email to the moving company. If I don�t hear from them by tonight then I am going to ask Mme. Baudel to put me in contact with her daughter (she�s a lawyer in Paris), maybe a call from an attorney will light a fire under these dickheads. Erich called today while I was out. I called him back and he invited me to meet him at the caf� he was having coffee at right then. �Ya know Erich�, I said �I am going to have to decline, again, I am tempted to lie and say that I have other plans, but I am not much of a liar.� �But then, why don�t you want to meet and hang out?� he asked �Well, I am just not in that great of a mood lately� I said �I mean, I am honestly working on getting to a space where I am more receptive to meeting people, but I am just not there yet� I answered. �Oh my God, buddy, you are SO from California� he said with a laugh �Working on getting to a space where you are more receptive�blah, blah blah,� he laughed again �Well, it�s true� I said, a bit sheepishly �Kiddo, we are talking two gay guys having coffee, nothing more� he said �How about this? I am meeting some friends at Marietta�s, after that when I get home I will give you a call and you can come over and we can just hang out. What about that?� he asked �Hmmm, I don�t know, I guess, but I reserve the right to change my mind� I said �Fine, that�s a start, God, who knew you were going to be this much work?� he said, laughing again. So that�s it, I guess I have to do it. Dani told me to stop being such a wimp and go out and make friends. I will, I just don�t feel up to chatting and putting my best foot forward. I wish I could show up in my pj�s and just be all, �well, this is me�. Hmm, maybe not a bad idea. Except then he will probably think I want to have sex. There is no winning. � � 
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